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September 05 Underwear goes inside pantsWhy is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt. You know what's not natural? Eighty year old dudes with hard ons. That's not natural, but we've got pills for that. We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect but we're putting people in jail for smoking something that grows in the dirt? You know, we have more prescription drugs now than ever. Every commercial on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking i have five serious diseases. Like, "Do you ever wake up tired in the mornings?" Oh my god, I have this, write this down! Whatever this is, I have this! Half the time you don't even know what the commercial is, there's people running through fields, or flying kites, or swimming in the ocean. Like, that is the greatest disease ever! How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy! The schools now, it's all about self-esteem in the schools. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip clubs? What's gonna happen to our porno industry? These women don't just grow on trees, it takes lots of drunk daddies missing a lot of dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks. And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday with my new high speed connection? Mastermind's a word that comes up all the time, you keep hearing about these terrorist masterminds that are being killed over in the middle-east. Terrorist masterminds! Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think? They're not masterminds! "Okay you take bomb, right? And you put in backpack, then you get on the bus and you blow yourself up." "Why do I have to... blow myself up? Why don't I put, uh --" "Who's the fucking mastermind here, me or you?!" Americans, let's face it, you've been a spoiled country for a long time, you know what the number one health risk in america is Obesity? Obesity! They say you're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic! Like it's Polio! Like, you'll be talking to your grandchildren about it one day, the great obesity epidemic of 2006. "How'd you get through it, grandpa?" "Oh, it was horrible, Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere." Nobody knows why you're getting fatter, look at yur lifestyles. You'll sit at a drive-thru, you'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up and making an eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything's mega-mealed, super-sized, "Want biggie fries with that, want a jumbo-fry, wanna go large, want a biggie fry, wanna have thirty burgers for a nickel, you fat motherfucker? There's room in the bag, take it! Want a fifty-five gallon drum of coke with that? It's only three more cents!" Sometimes you've gotta suffer a little in your youth to motivate you to succeed later in life. You think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft? Of course not! You've got to spend a long time stuffed in your own locker with your underwear wedged up your ass before you start thinking: "I'm gonna take over the world of computers, you'll see! I'll show them!" We're in one of the richest countries in the world and the minimum wage is lower now than it was thirty-five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere, this homeless guy asked me for money, the other day, I was about to give it to him, and I thought: he's just gonna use it on drugs or alcohol. And then I thought: That's what I'm gonna use it on! Why am I judging this poor bastard? People love to judge homeless guys. Like, you give him the money and he's just gonna waste it, he's gonna waste the money. Well he lives in a box! What do you want him to do with it, save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a cd rack? He's homeless! I walked behind this guy the other day, a homeless guy asked him for money, he looks right at the homeless guy, he goes: "Why don't you go out and get a job, you bum?" People always say that to homeless guys, get a job. Like it's always that easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume ain't all up to date. I'm predicting some problems during the interview process. I'm pretty sure McDonalds has an 'Underwear Goes Inside The Pants' policy Not that they enforce it very strictly, but technically, i'm sure it's on the books. September 04 Stay PositiveCos this world swallows souls and when the blues unfold it gets cold silence burns holes you're going mad perhaps you always were but when things was good you just didn't care this is called irony when you most need to get up you got no energy time and time shit'll happen the dark shit's unwrapping but no-one's listening your mates are laughing your brethren's fucking and then you start hating your stomach starts churning and you mind starts turning. so smoke another draw it won't matter no more but the next day still feels sore rain taps on your window always did tho but you didn't hear it when things were so-so you're on your own now your little zone you were born alone and believe me you'll die alone weed becomes a chore you want the buzz back so you follow the others onto smack
Just trying to stay positive.
Feels nice and still good thing about brown is it always will it's easy, no-one blames you it's that world out there that's fucked you you're no less of a person and if God exists he still loves you just remember that - the more you sink the further back from that brink maybe you've lifetime scars and you think tattoos might be more fitting but who's picking? searching for yourself you find demons try and be a freeman and grasp that talisman cos your the same as I am we all need our fellow man we all need our samaritan. Maybe I'm better looking than you tho maybe I've got more dough - but am I happier... no. Get the love of a good girl and your world will be much richer than my world and your happyness will uncurl. Stop dreaming people who say that are blaspheming they're doing nine to five and moaning and they don't want you succeeding when theyve blown it and you idols - who are they? they too dreamt about their day positive steps will see your goals.
Whether it's dollars or control, feel the gold. I aint helping you climb the ladder I'm busy climbing mine. that's how it's been since the dawn of time if you reach a cul-de-sac the world turns it's back this is you zone, it's like blackjack he might get the ace or the top one so organise your two's and three's into a run then you'll have fucked him son and for that you'll be the better one one last thing before you go though when you feel better tommorow you'll be a hero but never forget today. you could be back here things can stray what if you see me in that window? you won't help me I know. that's cool, just keep walking where you go. Carry on through the estate, stare at the geezers so they know you aint lightweight and go see your mates and when they don't look happy show them this blog. Just trying to stay positive.
I hope you understand me. I aint no preaching fucker and I aint no do-goody-goody either this is about when shit goes pear-shaped and if you aren't or ever have been at rock bottom then good luck to you in the big wide world but remember that one day shit might just start crumbling your bird might fuck off or you might loose your job it's when that happens that what I'm talking about will feel much more important to you so if you aint feeling it, just be thankfull that things are cool in your world. Respect to SG. Positivity Positivity. Just trying to stay positive
August 24 So help me GodThese are the facts of life
Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv? Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites? Everyday 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world The average person laughs 13 times a day Elvis was originally blond The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old The average erect penis is 5,2" long - and 4,2" circumcised Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing 41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously 20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexual experience Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme? This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is
- the bare facts of the life we live 22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in Great Britain 96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm 3 people die every year, testing if a 9 volt battery works on their tongue The 'Guinness Book Of Records' holds the record for being the most stolen book in public libraries Butterflies taste with their feet 5% of the population is gay The worlds best known word is 'okay', the second most well-known word is 'Coca-Cola' The giraffe can clean its ears with its tongue Charles Chaplin once won 3rd prize in a 'Charles Chaplin look-a-like contest' In 1995 a Japanese trawler sank because a Russian cargo plane dropped a living cow from 30,000 feet Only one book has been printed in more copies than the Bible - the IKEA-catalogue 1 cigarette takes away five minutes of a person's life In 1950 we were 3 billion people on the earth - today we are 6 billion people 'Donald Duck' was banned in Finland, because he doesn't wear pants 74% of all nudist-females are nudists, because their husbands are nudists More people die from a champagne cork popping, than from poison spiders 21% of all traffic accidents happen because the driver falls asleep Did you know that originally a danish guy invented the burglar alarm? - unfortunately it got stolen So help me God. May 10 PlayerSo it's my birthday and I'm out with some mates to celebrate when one of them asks why he doesn't pull and what he should do, my response is thus - oi the reason girls flirt is to work out their worth whereas men just hanker for the panky to happen retain this fact i'm hammering, this fact is gonna matter what little you think you're letting by her sly she senses you're near her and smells your desire the general rule of mine, her intellect will be higher your task is to make her notice you fast but hanker when you don't close in after she knows she can get most dudes but she mustn't know about you if you screw this all up and then lose all your cool thats when she ends up liking you as a friend you're not playing at hard to get, you're playing at not getting a hard-on yet and you wanna know what, listen.. the answer is to get close enough to her but listen the next thing you just totally blank her you think i'm fucking mad don't ya but i don't shag on my own get somewhere close to the lamb but then glance and turn to the man you need to get near to the lamb but she doesn't want to feel cramped instead of cowering up to the hostile lamb bowl up to the trusting man it's much easier talking to him, he doesn't suspect you want anything just tell him something like did you know cigarette lighters were invented before matches? it's abc making a he break with glee 'cos he isn't suspicious you're trying to muscle into his misses do you know what i'm talking about that's why i'm talking about the woman is a highly socially-practised master in body language, dab-handed actress she's calculating all the mad facts and the figures while you're pretending to listen staring at her tits elementary, my dear cousin, elementary i cannot state this enough she must not clock your flop you can't placard your march your threws seclude your moves or you're colluding well weapon Oh and remember not to get hammered either 'cause people who get hammered don't get to nail March 28 Radioactive kung fu fridge boy and monkey slayerMany years ago a strange comet appeared in the sky. It struck the Earth and out of the crater crawled a child. From nearby woods came a mysterious and enchanted people, they took the child as their own and taught him the ways of the forest, but soon it was time for him to leave.
An hour later he was bitten by a monkey. As he tried to fight the effects of the monkey venom he lost his footing and stumbled into a swamp of toxic waste. When he emerged he had gained special powers. From that moment on he was able to fight off the most ferocious monkey attack and do kung fu.
Armed with his new skills he spent his time fighting the forces of evil. Many came to destroy him but he could not be defeated, so they hit him with a car. Left for dead scientists took his body to a secret lab and rebuilt him using old fridge parts. He promptly escaped and disappeared underground.
His whereabouts remained unknown...that is until now...
So there goes Porter off into the night there goes Porter fighting for whats right, he could be cleaning up streets of every criminal he meets, it's unlikely but you never know he might.
He'd tell them all about,
A fighting evil, breedingweevils, a flying pony, a hedge called Tony, magic pants, a sinister dance, Norwegian milkmen in a trance, chaos at the dairy, how to steal a prairie, a local craftsman getting all lairy, a bell ringer, a roast dinner, a blind bookies guide dog trying to pick a winner.
There goes Porter with a message for you and me there goes Porter he wants all the world to see that now and forever, we should work for peace together as long as there's nothing good on th tv.
But if there wasn't he would tell them about,
solid wood flannels, secret panels, jelly steeple, dust people, a greyhounds eyes, crystal pies,special pans,old mans hands,how to hide your relatives in home made flans, dust 'em down with flour, leave them for an hour, a platinum peg, a broom stick leg, a clumsy bar maid trapped in a keg.
There goes Porter he left me tangled in mind-string there goes Porter like a eagle on the wing although he can't really fly he would pretty much die if he chucked himself off a really high thing.
But up in heaven he'd tell the angels about,
Exploiding bricks, whittling sticks, a useful tunnel, a musical funnel, an angry hen, gadgets for business men, like collapsible whores, trimming dragon claws, laser guided puppies with heat seeking paws, tramps on a dump, a colourful hump, as a thirsty child steals the village pump.
Oh, he's gone.
March 06 TruthAlways lived my life alone, been searching for the place called home. I know that I have been cold as ice. Ignored the dreams, too many lies.
That's the way I felt and feel recently which is suprising as I thought I would have the usual feelings of wanting to leave this place as I reported in my last blog.
So the reason for this is the fact I am going through the wrost experiences of my life at the minute, no job, no home and split from the girlfriend due to this reasons, which if truth be told i'm ok with as it is what I needed to motivate me and Kim needs to be able to concentrate on herself for once.
So thats about it really, I guess i'll get by with a little help from my friends.
March 03 The returnYep I'm back just like Mr Mischief with a trick up my sleeve. So I left uni, got a job and quit a job, got back with Kim and moving in with her, that pretty much sums up the last 5 months.
Until Tuesday I have been pretty broke waiting to get paid so I have been relying on friends to get by, and just as you would expect Brother Simon came to the rescue and crossed my palm with financial papers, which was good as all I was getting from the cash machine was a message saying "Don't make plans, your broke".
But now I have money and it's a different story, hopefully Brother Simon shall attend the public house with me tonight so I can buy him some alcoholic beverage as a way of saying cheers for lending me the money punk and then tomorrow the old feelings will start to stir again I'm pretty sure. You know the feelings of needing to get out this place.
When I start to see planes taking off, one by one they come and go on and on. I think about all the places i'd go, think about this place I call home. I think it's quiet around here, there doesn't seem so much to do around here, I think back to this time last year, good times. I think I have stayed for too long, I think the colour has gone, think that I can get on a plane, can't be wrong.Everything looks empty, nothings going on around here, it's time we let it change, I have a feeling we gotta get out before it brings us down.
But then again maybe I won't feel like that tomorrow. But anyway as for now I have been working all wekk but I just got paid so I'm outta here tonight, work is such a fucking bind man, hopefully it'll be another typical friday night for me and Brother Simon.
Ah shit so my clothes are all counterfit, our names ain't on the list "No you can't come in boys, so go home" slip round the back, look at that a cracked toilet window, drop to the floor cover us to the door, we got some money to spend, crack out the jack and lets get pissed, drunk, crunked, fucked up, hit the club get sucked get fucked get wasted shit faceted pasted blasted puke drink up. Get a new drink hit the sink throw up, wipe our shoes clean.
Lets see what tomorrow brings.
It's good to be back. September 23 KimDid I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your head. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I am a dreamer but when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bare my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. August 29 I hate myself
| [ADVERTISEMENT]July 31 MACHINES AND HUMANS/MACHINES V HUMANS?Making our lives ever more comfortable, convenient, and complete, technology has served us well this century.
But come the coming years, will the tables be turned? Yes I am aware of the irony that I am putting this down and promoting my words of caution through this machine, over the internet, through millions of wires and over thousands of miles andallowingit to flash up on your screen in a matter of seconds.
Humnan nature has forever endeavoured to improve and we have done so thoriugh the creation of machines and advancement of technology and if or when it allgoes wrong we as humans will be quick to point the finger of blame and the machines and enevitably the inventors and creators of such machinage.
But as we all use these machines are we all guilty by association?
Fear not my comrades I am not saying that we should just except this rise of the machines, but we have to try to find the balance, where we as humans can live side by side with the machines, but we need to remain in control because that is what this is all about - supremecy.
As life continues to evolve todays society is so depentent on technology that it has become inter-dependent.
Is it too late for this balance to be found?
Have computers hijacked our destiny? Yes, some ardently declare. We're just a few years, if not a few minutes, from what visionaries and fringe thinkers alike are calling the end of the human era, the point at which a runaway, fugitive technology commandeers the future--a future in which humans will be unfamiliar, unnecessary, and probably unwelcome.
Restive technology has always been a force in human history, but today it's about to stampede. Innovations in agriculture, medicine, electronics, and genetics have permitted population growth; a larger population means a larger brain pool, and a larger brain pool means newer and better technologies sooner.
In Silicon Valley, smaller equals faster, and nanotechnology--engineering on the molecular level--is stirring restlessly in the stockade. So by using molecular "assembler" machines we will eventually be able to create almost any arrangement of atoms. This technology will at first yield materials stronger and lighter than anything known. Companys are currently fabricating iron, aluminum, and titanium oxides into nano-scale powders, which are molded into ceramic components used to make giant Caterpillar and Lockheed engines. Its other nano-scale powders are key ingredients in a new generation of high-tech sunscreen and cosmetics. The sunscreen powder particles (each about 12 atoms in size) are smaller than the wavelength of visible light, effectively yielding 100 percent protection against dangerous ultraviolet radiation.
Nanotechnology will further reduce the size (and increase the speed) of computers. So surely it will eventually allow nano-supercomputers smaller than grains of sand. Here, the stampede begins when nanotechnology bolts toward human physical immortality. Swarms of nano-scale cell-repair cruisers will ripple through the body, locating faulty cells and repairing abnormal (aging?) DNA. If you like, or maybe even if you don't, you can live as long as Jupiter's Great Red Spot or Pigeon Man. You'll need something to do while you wait. That will require the "Santa Claus machine" capable of recycling the molecules of matter in our junk drawers into just about anything we want--like maybe a Bruce Willis--type android to confront the guy with the Harley next door, or a gadget to render all dogs and everyone named the Backstreet Boys silent. However, most futurists predict that sometime between tomorrow and the year 2035 a computer at MIT or Los Alamos or the University of Tokyo or somewhere will be nudged into consciousness and suddenly "wake up" to find itself "human," insofar as it is capable of performing the processes of the human brain. That computer will do a great deal more than crunch numbers. It will have found computing's Holy Grail--self-awareness, a condition we call "intelligence." From here, things quickly get interesting.
"Smart" machines will reproduce, creating smarter machines, which in turn will build still smarter ones. Technological progress, at this point approaching omniscience, will explode, swelling superexponentially almost overnight to the utter limits of knowledge, to what the seers call the "Singularity." So if we can make machines that are as smart as humans, then it's not hard to imagine that we could soon thereafter make, or cause to be made, machines that are smarter than us, and then we'll plunge headfirst into an incomprehensible era of "posthumanity." If any of the doomsday prophecies are correct, then there is nothing to be done. If the Singularity can happen, it will happen. Hold on to your hard drive. There's no way to stop a silicon stampede. There's just this one detail: The human brain has an ineffable inner quality that no machine can replicate. No object is "awake" in the sense that it is aware of its experience, and some experts doubt computers will ever--no matter how small they become, how fast they operate, or how well they mimic neuronal activity--be more than catatonic couriers, note-passers with little if any ability to understand content. While proliferating "smart" technologies stand to make life cushier by being programmed to sense and react to a range of variables, consciousness is a far more multifaceted riddle than most people think. The more we think about computers, the more we realize how elusive consciousness is. The dash toward the Singularity depends on the creation of super-human artificial intelligence, and AI has a limited future if the human mind can't be downloaded and algorithms written to imitate it. At this point, there's no agreement on what the human mind even is, and no one seems to know how it works. We don't even know if these things can ever be determined. There's a magical connection concealed in the mind, a poetic symbiosis sealed in mystery. Maybe the human mind is a personal Ark of the Covenant, to be approached and admired but never entered or tampered with. Some suspect when the day comes that machines are like men it will be more because men have lost their humanity than because machines have found it. There are people who aren't worried about the concept of the Singularity because "techno-prophecy" is almost always wrong. Almost nothing about technology has been predicted with any accuracy. Every innovation that solves one problem, winds up creating another. The marvels of modern technology, for instance, include the development of the drinks can, which, when discarded, lasts forever. Improvements in sports padding were meant to prevent injuries; instead they encouraged more aggressive play, causing injuries to increase.
The template of inexpediency: Operation Cat Drop, the guiding parable of the Rocky Mountain Institute and its founder, "hypercar" guru Amory Lovins. Forty years ago malaria was the scourge of the Dayak people of Borneo. In response, the World Health Organization (WHO) sprayed DDT to kill the malaria-carrying mosquitoes. The mosquitoes died, but so too did parasitic wasps that had controlled thatch-eating caterpillars; roofs collapsed. Other DDT-poisoned insects were eaten by geckos, which were eaten by cats. When the cats died, the rats flourished, and the Dayak people were suddenly faced with outbreaks of typhus and plague. In response, WHO parachuted 14,000 cats into Borneo. Basically this true story illustrates that if you don't know how things are interconnected, then frequently the cause of problems are their solutions.
What does it all mean? We don't know. We don't know whether technology will eventually convey us to the Singularity or safely house us in the sanitary suburbs; we don't know whether to regard it as invective or invitation, whether it's inherently benign, treacherous, or transparent. Exactly which side of the technological fence is actually "backward" remains to be seen.
SIGN UP NOW. July 01 ID cards to further machines takeover?Many people believe that the government’s ID scheme is just a “simple piece of plastic”. The Identity Cards Bill shows clearly that the plastic card is only one small part of a much larger scheme. The government is planning to establish a vast, complex and far-reaching system that will involve an unprecedented use of personal information. The Bill outlines an identity system that has eight components. Take a look at one of the components that will help the machines control us and build up their complete dominance of the Human race. Biometrics. Clause 5 (5) requires individuals to submit to fingerprinting and “other” means of physical identification. This is likely to include electronic face scanning and iris recognition. Your biometrics would be taken upon application for a card and for entry on the National Identification Register, and would be used thereafter for major “events” such as obtaining a driving license, passport, bank account, benefits or employment. Your eye would be scanned, and matched both against the biometric on your card, and against a national database. So if or when ID cards are introduced and I'm expected to pay between £80 and £300 (depending on which 'expert' I listen to) for the card to enjoy the privilege of existing, what will happen if i refuse to pay up? I will not cease to exist physically , though I will be liable to a fine. But as the authorities will have no record of my existence other than the records on file for the last 24 years - now considered insufficiant - to whom will the summons be addressed? Will it be sent to the old me? Or the non-existant new me, who has declined being a retina-scanned, fingerprinted and DNA logged cyber being? When they come to arrest me, how can they prove that I am the person in question as my driving licence, passport, birth certificate etc, will no longer be regarded as sufficient proof of my identity? I'm looking forwards to being a spectre - just as I am right now. At the moment the Government state that the you will not be required to use a card unless you wish to work, use the banking or health system, travel or receive benefits. As Mr Blunkett advised Parliament: “The issuing of a card does not force anyone to use it, although in terms of drivers or passport users, or if services - whether public or private - required some proof of identity before expenditure was laid out, without proof of identity and therefore entitlement to do it I doubt whether non-use of it would last very long.” Is this not simply a way of saying that the card is compulsory without actually saying it? With all this power and knowledge going into computers they will know everthing about us as individuals and can destroy us before we even suspect anything has happend! What will happen if my ID card failed a biometric check because of a computer error? Will I be like the poor Mexican whom the U.S. Department for Home Security failed to remove from its wanted list? Will I languish in jail while someone tries to resolve the question? In this world of modern technology where credit cards are duplicated with ease,could my ID card be cloned and used for fraudsters? Invariably, yes. The technology gap between governments and organised crime has now narrowed to such an extent that even the most highly secure cards are available as blanks weeks after their introduction. Criminals and terrorists can in reality move more freely and more safely with several fake "official" identities than they ever could in a country using multiple forms of "low-value" ID such as a birth certificate. Forgery of ID cards has been detected and prosecuted even where terms of imprisonment of ten years are threatened. If I grow or remove a beard or moustache, or suffer facial injuries temporary or permanent, will I have to pay for a new one? Will I be a non-person whilst I wait for a replacement card? The proposed card will not stop terrorism or any other wrong doing. Why not issue a simple photocard similar to many European driver's licences? The Government's record on computer systems gives me no confidence in this plan. I believe it's main aim is to be yet another stealth tax and provide more jobs for Government cronies whilst enabling the machines to begin taking over freely and without question. We are all falling into the machines masterplan, and the ID cards are goibg to help them greatly, should you get an ID card remember this - Resistance is futile, only the anonymous will Survive. June 29 1st officer, judgement day task force, reportingSo Brother Simon has being airing his views on the rise of the machines and I have been appointed his 1st officer so I thought I best post some views, opinions and personal findings on the matter. So the question can be asked - Human Beings V Machines or Machines as instruments of Human designs?
The answer to these questions would have been simple a few years ago, but today we speak so much of progress, science and technology as if these in themselves are values to be venerated, there are many people (including myself and Brother Simon) that believe machines as they become more and more complex and intelligent through Human design, may in fact come alive so that they may supplant us Humans as a natural outcome of that very venerated progress and expansion of intelligence.
Not all people share the view that the rise of the machines will one day prove too much for the humans to handle, for example, I have just come home to my parental figures housing establishment for the summer holidays and have got a job, today I had to do my induction on health and safety, part of this consisted of watching "educational videos" imagine my suprise when one of the instructors on the video was instructing people to allow the machines to do the work for them, listen to this fool - voluntarily allow machines to take over! I don't think so sucker, I sat there as he threw all these instructions at me, the discombobulated viewer of this so called "educational video"
To be honest my first thought was that perhaps the instructor was a real life version of a terminator! However it is not suprising that the instructor was embracing technological "help" and advancement, it has been embraced by humans for decades, for example you only have to glance at the poem by Richard Brautigan entitled "All watched over by machines of loving grace" which was written in 1950 to realise what I mean.
Anyway after said induction I went to Tesco and had to use the self check-out tills which was fine until it refused to release my shopping to me (which I had paid for) as I was told "illegal item placed in bagging area, remove this item before continuing" so placing an A4 envelope with one sheet of paper in it that I had carried around with me all day had been deemed illegal and was preventing me from taking my shopping. I hate the way that the technology seems to be ubiquitos and it seems to me that evolution appears to be changing its nature so that technology is becoming the guiding force in the flow of this cosmic change in relation to us.
So will machines take over Humanity to produce spiritual machines?
Only time will tell, but for now myself and Brother Simon are preparing for the inevitable, stand by us my apprentice.
June 06 League 1 play off finalWell last Sunday (29th May 2005) I accomponied my sisters boyfriend and life long Sheffield Wednesday fan to the play off final in Cardiff, we set off at 6.30 am and arrived in the Wales four hours later, the game went okay with Sheff Wednesday winning in extra time and my claim to fame of catching the match ball. I have never seen so many old school football shirts, talk about part time fans! Well we assumed we would be home by 11pm which was true except we arrived home at 3am! Wise guys took 2 hours to get out of the Wales, but I was pleased as I had achieved my aim for the day which was to avoid getting covered in flob by them. We had to pull over for an hours sleep near Birmingham as Rick (my sisters boyfriend) is a bit of a light weight and has some weird belief that he wouldn't be a good driver whilst asleep, and try as I may I couldn't convine him to get his car fitted with a KIT like auto-pilot, you know the one not a fancy turbo boost spit oil out on to the floor bullet proof number, just the bog standard auto-pilot issue with or without the voice. But no he wouldn't have it!
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE WE HAD THE LAST LAUGH!Well first of all I apologize for the long break in my blogging. This is due to me only just sobering up form Liverpool winning their 5th European Cup (and this time it's for keeps) 21 years in waiting. 10 months in the making and it has been won yet again by the mighty reds. May 25 come on redsD day has arrived. Liverpool are just ninety minutes away from European Chmpions League glory. Come on boys!!! NO SMALL TOFFES FOR FEAST TONIGHT KOPITES PARTY WITH TURKISH DELIGHT JOSE, SIR ALEX...LONDON PRESS ALL CHOKING ON SWEET SUCCESS MONEY, NOT LOVE IS YOUR DRIVE BUT TELL US...CAN YOU COUNT TO FIVE?!
May 24 Liverpool verse AC Milan. 1 day to goThey say that good things come to those who wait, now the waiting is over, this wednesday we go to Istanbul for a night of eastern promise. Liverpool 4 times European champions. AC Milan 6 times European champions. May 18 Hardware overloadAnd Gizmondo makes five. Yes, the launch of a new piece of hardware gives us five handheld gaming devices to choose from. Not just for you as a consumer, but for the world's game-development community too. So... that's Sony's PSP, Nintendo's DS, Nokia's N-Gage QD, Tiger Telematics' Gizmondo and Tapwave's Zodiac, in addition to Nintendo's Gameboy Advance, Sony's Playstation2, Microsoft's Xbox, Nintendo's Gamecube, PCs, Macintoshes, Sega's Dreamcast, roughly 38,224 configurations of mobile phones, internet, interactive TV, coin-ops, even Sinclair's ZX Spectrum (if your Sleepy Ed)...oh and not forgetting the trifling matters of Nintendo's Revolution, Sony's Playstaion3 and Microsoft's next-generation Xbox. Mobile variations aside that makes 20 formats to consider. It has never been like this. Once, game developers agonised over having to make their masterworks available to play on the Commodore 64, ZX Spctrum AND Amstrad CPC464. But 20 formats? no wonder there are so many thoroughly terrible games out there - it's not that the goalposts keep moving; a ton of new rules are being continualy thrown onto the pitch. No wonder, too, that developers are becoming increasingly vocal when it comes to airing their grievances. The rise of internet communications and personal blogs has already pushed this activity into previously uncharted territory. With all of these consoles in your pocket (or, more likely because of practicality issues, your bag), you're covered, since each has at least one unique attribute unavailable on its competitors, whether that's GPS functionality, movies available on disc, Palm OS compatability, a cheeky pair of screens or the ability to double up as a phone. But only some of these will actually serve as reasons to pick one over the other - which is what your average consumer will be doing, because, just as in most gaming households when it comes to traditional consoles, there's only room, time or budget for one format. When you're drinking in the delights of God Of War or Wipeout Pure, it's easy to ignore the issues that have the oppurtunity to damage our pastime. It's only in recognising them, though, that the videogame industry will safeguard its future.
And now i'm a little scared as I never knew I could be so geeky!!! I live in the city, there's no easy way out
Well I know what you mean there Noel, after walking round the city centre being attacked by a Big Issue seller with some form of prestidigitation going on whilst rambling on as if he was some sort of zenith and to be honest I had absolutely no comprehension about what he was banging on about, but I did notice that he had a beard that looked like a stereotypical tramps, with bread in it. The one thing I did catch from him was that he was poor and couldn't afford to eat, which is no laughing matter, but then I looked at his hands (which he had slowed down to withing visibility) and what was this in his hand? yes it was a box embossed with the golden arches and half full of fries. So it is true that "every beggining has broken its promise" and yes "I'm having trouble just finding some soul in this town" Well I managed to escape crazy Big Issue seller guy and continued along my journey. I guess what I'm saying is that I am fed up with Liverpool's year long "big dig" which as far as I can see is just taking place to annoy the civilians like myself. I walk through the monotonous piles of rubble stacked up every major road in the city centre and on to the bus for a journey that used to take 10 minutes before the "big dig" and now takes 35 minutes! So what is the whole point of this "big dig" well I'm guessing it's all part of the "Liverpool Capital Of Culture 2008" and making more money. Well that's my rant concluded. Don't believe the truth - review
Noel is writing songs about queing too long for a pint of milk and Liam is a whirlwind of inspiration and wanderous bullshit. Fans have been waiting ten years for this moment. Why? Because it has been ten years since Oasis made an album that truly changed the musical landscape. It's been ten years since they wrote an album of such spirit that you felt compelled to adopt a swagger as you walked through the streets of your council estate. Don't Believe The Truth is that album. It's the Oasis that blew you away and an Oasis you've never met. It's not about one particular song. It never has been. It's about an old attitude that somehow got lost amidst the tabloid fuss and the mountains of cash, coupled with a complete reinvention of how and why Oasis exist. For the first time in their history they are functioning as a band. No longer does Noel feel the weight of the world on his shoulders, and Liam's writing tunes with the enthusiasm of a toddler who's just mastered walking. Gem is the rock on which the new Oasis is built while Andy Bell is an enigmatic influence who makes Liam watch films starring David Essex. They call him Wing Commander Bell. They are four individuals who have pushed, pulled. laughed and fought inside the four walls of a studio, for what seemed like forever, to reach the light. And now they have arrived it's positively blinding. When they listen back to this record, a newborn confusion reigns. They're not sure who played what and when. All they know is that Zak Starkey played drums, although there is a rumour flying around concerning Liam. two spoons and a box of Cheerios! Don't Believe The Truth runs to eleven tracks with Noel writting five. That includes Let there be love a defining moment in Oasis history. A song pulled back from over-production, one that sighs rather than shouts. "Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens could cry over me?" Mucky Fingers - which sounds like nothing Noel has ever written before is his tip on the Velvet Underground, fuelled by Jack Daniels and an old, beat up organ off e-bay. Then there's Lyla who is apparently Sally's sister and The Importance Of Being Idle, a song so stark, so simple and so fundementally Oasis that it could have been a B-side in 1994 it's THAT good. When you hear Part Of The Queue you realise that Noel Gallagher the songwriter has regained some truth. He's once again tackling the little things, and leaving the meaning of life to somebody who has the time to work it out. Three tunes are Liam's although he claims to have written over a hundred. What we do hear is the deafining ninety second The Meaning Of Soul which spits fifties rock 'n' roll blades at passers by, whilst Love Like A Bomb is a wistful daydream that he wrote with "Julie fucking Christie in mind". As for Guess God Thinks I'm Abel, Liam reckons he has a conversation with God one night in a boozer and God told him he was abel. Simple as that. Gem is his sounding board who he drags into their studios at all hours to work on sparks of ideas that are currently flowing from him at a phenomenal rate. Andy describes Liam as "outrageously talented, he just invents chords. for every song he has on the album he probably has at least ten just as good". The opening track on Don't Believe The Truth is Andy Bell's Turn Up The Sun with it's midnight cowboys intro that explodes into threatning explosive rock 'n' roll. He also pops up with Keep The Dream Alive a song inspired by a film called Stardust starring David Essex. Noel wont watch it. The others wont shut up about it. That leaves Gem's A Bell Will Ring and another layer on an album full of different sounds. Don't Believe The Truth is truly the long awaited new album from Oasis, a band who now operate with the type of unity and passion usually reserved for the A-team, on the trail of a group of Mexican cattle rustlers. Thankfully though some things will never change. For those concerned that Oasis have slipped well too deep into the realm of Dad-rock, you will be pleasently suprised and pleased to hear that the Gallagher's can still produce some of the most infectiously catchy indie-rock around. From the psychedelic whirlpool of hit single Lyla to the one and a half minute swagger of of The Meaning Of Soul by way of the magnificently titled Mucky Fingers Don't Believe The Truth provides the perfect balance between the ups and downs. With Don't Believe The Truth the widespread belief is that Oasis are back with an amazing album which will prove their strongest for a very long time. To Quote Noel "That's rock 'n' roll mister, that's rock n roll" 9 out of 10 from me.
May 11 BirthdaySo it's now two days after the morning after the night before. To be more precise it is my fourth day at being 24. I have never been 24 before so I am not sure if I am being 24 properly. Right Doncaster for a night out to celebrate my birthday. Where do I start? Well I have always believed that the beginning is the best place to start so that is where I shall begin my little fable. It was Friday 6th may the night before my birthday and I was travelling home from uni, I made it home at 9.30pm after missing a billion trains (slight exageration here as I only missed two) I met my male parental figure (AKA Scatman John) outside the train staion who in turn gave me a lift to my girlfriend's house where I met Sarah and Mr Foster, who gave me some China man food. We watched TV and then we went to our beds. I had to sleep, my body gave me little choice, I needed it. I did not know at this point how much energy I would need the following day as there would be a revelation about a weapon of mass destruction or as Torpedo Gav would have us believe, a weapon of mass distraction. So it got to 4pm the following day and we met up at Mr Newcombe's and Mr Preston's abode, before continuing our journey to get food upon the way to Doncaster. We arrived at the pub and got a table and began drinking and getting food when suddenly Mr Preston could take no more and departed for home. Nevermind there was still enough for the night to continue, so we ordered food and drink and merryment. YYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS was the bellowing sound deep from within Newcs stomach as we realised Scunthorpe United had been promoted. Cushtie. Well nothing further happend until we got to Doncaster. May I add however that by this time I had been showered with gifts with which Newc and Dave was the masters off wrapping them up, what they had cleverly done was disguise a DVD as a DVD and then become suprised when I guessed what they had got me! For God's sake that's like taking chicken flavoured crisps and gluing them to a chicken and then complaining that the chicken is too chickeny! I must just warn you that this isn't the most linear post you're likely to read! So we arrived at Doncaster and checked in, the drink started to flow when BANG! it happend Gav informed us all of his torpedo - but that is something for another blog! So we found ourselves in the pub drinking and getting covered in ketchup etc nothing really happend of any significance until the journey home. All was going well until me and Brother Simon was lost from the group on our walk home, not a problem you may think, as did we until we realised we had got so lost we was nearly in the magic forest of Narnia in danger of being touched up by an amorous badger. We continued walking and making haste and just as we thought we was getting closer to civilisation we realised it was not city noise we could hear in the distance, it was the music of a Gelfling flute, thus we decided a taxi would be our best way home! Alas we flagged down a taxi, "F1 please" "No problem mate" this was the beginning of what was a confusing conversation! The taxi driver was mumbling some crap whereas I was talking some great shakespeare work towards him which confused him some what and then "£2.30 please" we was back at our place of rest. AHHH bed time, into bed I sank when suddenly without prior warning or a countdown my eviction was to sidle up on me and leave me facing a night with Torpedo Gav! Who in the morning presented me and Gimp with the oldest HMV bag known to man! Alas my birthday was over and 23 was no more for me. |
Well as Noel Gallagher states "Suddenly I found I lost my way in the city, streets in the thousands all the colours bleed into one". 
Oasis have always been at their best when they didn't give a fuck, when Noel scrawled tunes about nothing that meant the world and Liam buzzed off his head with a passion never rivalled by any rock 'n' roll singer in history. Put simply this is a glorious re-birth.|
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